and here in my heart I lay out this confession,
that I doubt,
and I fear,
Lord it's not clear what was ever GOOD in man.
But deep in us you called something good.
Some spirit, some desire,
I wish that we could,
reclaim the goodness that you placed in us.
I've never been that scared. As the Sabbath closed our SM group
finished singing songs in each of the hospital wards. We walked out
into the main courtyard area and saw some commotion over in the
ER. It was getting dark and we kind of maneuvered around the bodies
that were resting under the mango trees. We stopped kind of amidst
some of them and Sarah asked somewhat urgently, "Would you guys mind
giving us a hand? We need to get these people into the ER." We
looked down at our feet and the people who we thought were simply
napping on the ground, were actually beaten and bleeding mothers,
children and men. We were a bit shocked at first but everyone just
grabbed someone. A few of them could hobble while others were
already dead. Others couldn't walk at all and still others were
unconscious. I grabbed one of the babies whose little dress was
completely covered in blood. Her eyes were wide as the Alantic and
shock kept her from crying. I laid her down on the pink ER bed and
began looking for injuries. I cut off her little dress and pulled
off her crocheted beanie that was tied up around her neck. I found
no injuries. Her eyes were tracking me well now and the shock had
seemingly worn off. The blood that covered her, I came to find out,
was from her mother who was killed.
18 patients were hospitalized that night. This doesn't count the 9
or so who were taken to our morgue.
The hardest part of this ordeal was the senselessness of it all.
One Arab decided to take his cows across the rice field of the
Nangjere. The rice fields and the wells are the sources of life
here, so I understand that this spoke volumes about how much this
Arab cared about the Nangjere. I am walking over your hard work. I
don't care if you get a good crop. But the Arab has to get his cows
to water. For the Arabs, the cows are their source of food. They
drink their milk and sell their meat. The cows pull their
wagons. If only they could have respected each other's ways of life,
this might not have taken place.
The Nangjere man yelled at the Arab to get off his field. The Arab
got angry and pulled out his bow and arrow. Having an arrow pointed
at you would be enough to make anyone panic. The Nangjere somehow
jumped on the back of the Arab trying to protect himself. the Arab
pulled out his knife from his belt and stabbed the Nangjere. He
fell and the other Nangjere women went running home to tell their
families that the Arab had killed their brother!
This is where it began. The attacks went on all night. First a
wave of Nangjere would come in. Then a wave of Arab people. Then
revenge would be had again and so it went. I've never seen such
senselessness.
Women. Beaten so badly that their whole faces were swollen. Knives
into their heads. Pregnant women! I just got so angry and
discouraged with how GOOD people were NOT.
One man was attacked while he was fishing. He was catching
fish. That's all. He was chased out of the water and his wounds
told his whole story. The knife left trails across his shoulders,
all down his back, and across his butt. Someone had just been
slashing him as he ran. Then you could see where he must have gotten
tired. He probably couldn't run anymore or was just feeling like
running couldn't save him. He must have turned around to confront
his attacker. There were deep cuts all across his wrists and hands
and arms and into his lung (he ended up with a chest tube).
The night was spent holding compresses deep into wounds until the
doctor could get to the person to stitch them up. It was spent in
anticipation of the next wave of the battle. By two AM the police
felt like they had enough of a presence that the fighting would
stop. The patients were settled and the dead were at the
morgue. The orphaned and unidentified babies had been given to
families to nurse them for the night. Things had settled a bit.
Everything except my insides-my gut.
I didn't sleep that night. I was too disappointed in
humanity. Too scared of humans. Too tired of being a human on
this earth. I went to Ansley's hut so I wouldn't have to sleep alone.
I crriiiieeed.
What kind of person strikes someone with a knife so hard that it cuts
through their bone and breaks it! I thought people were so good
deep down. But this was challenging a huge pillar of my
thinking. I love people. I always feel like something is good in
people and that you just have to find it. But that night I honestly
was just so disappointed.
The next day was tense at the hospital. A mob of Arabs came in to
pick up their dead and all of us were worried as we saw them move
across the courtyard that they were going to come and kill those who
were healing at the hospital. As the Arabs came in, we saw
Nangjere jumping the fence out of the hospital. Everyone was scared.
The patients healing side by side. Arab and Nangjere bed by
bed. It all spoke of the senselessness. The situation painted a
real ugly picture of revenge and I hope it effected everyone as it did me.
Since that time I've found good in people. REALLY deep-rooted
good. It's a mix in this world. That's all there is too
it. God's hands and the Dark's hands are both molding the same
sculpture. I can't wait for heaven. I've never wished for it like
I did that night.
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